The Holy Bible Forbids These 12 Things You Love
1. All-You-Can-Eat Buffets:
“Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.” – Proverbs 23:20-21
The Bible forbids overeating, but now it’s a lot harder to eat right compared to Biblical times. Restaurants offer huge portions of delicious food, and all-you-can-eat buffets are the worst offenders. You want to get your money’s worth, so you’re going to pile your plate high and come back for seconds and thirds.
“Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.” – Leviticus 19:19
This Biblical rule doesn’t even make sense. Why is wearing two different materials such a bad thing? Fabric blends are used in most clothing items these days, and without weaving cotton and polyester together we wouldn’t have comfortable t-shirts that don’t shrink!
“Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” – Ephesians 5:4
While the Bible doesn’t completely forbid humor, it makes it pretty hard to be funny. Almost anything you watch on Comedy Central or in a live stand-up act will break these rules. C’mon, what would the world be like without fart jokes?
“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,” – 1 Timothy 2:9
Women in Biblical times weren’t really that different than modern women, but they were subjected to some really intense rules! The Bible basically banned them from wearing anything that might draw attention to themselves. The modern fashionista is now obsessed with the exact same things that were forbidden.
“Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate.” – Psalm 101:5
It’s hard to watch TV or surf the Internet without running into some form of gossip. Whether it’s the latest celebrity “news” or your friends ranting about something on Facebook, there’s plenty of thing the Bible doesn’t want you to talk about. Just try to talk to your friends on the phone without gossiping about someone else and you’ll see how hard it is!
“It is good for a man not to have intimate relations with a woman.” – 1 Corinthians 7:1
Basically the Bible doesn’t want you to have sex unless you’re married and it’s for the purpose of making a baby. And it’s not just sex, but anything even related to sex or even thinking naughty thoughts is against the rules. Good luck trying to follow them!
7. Popcorn Shrimp:
“But all creatures in the seas or streams that do not have fins and scales—whether among all the swarming things or among all the other living creatures in the water—you are to regard as unclean. And since you are to regard them as unclean, you must not eat their meat; you must regard their carcasses as unclean.” – Leviticus 11:10-11
Red Lobster and Joe’s Crab Shack would never exist if we followed the rules of the bible. All shellfish are regarded as unclean animals, so that means no crab legs, lobster tails, or popcorn shrimp. It’s pretty obvious why this rule has gone ignored.
**we shouldnt be eating crabs and lobsters then**
“Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals.” – Leviticus 19:19
Cross-breeding different species is extremely common these days, and it happens in nature all the time. The Bible prohibited mating different animals, but we’d never have dog breeds like the pitbull, or even the Liger ( bred btw Lion and tiger) etc!
“Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk.” – Exodus 23:19
Okay, so the cheeseburger is not specifically banned by the bible, but the concept is basically the same. The Jews were instructed not to cook an animal in its mother’s milk, but we often eat cow meat covered in cheese… which comes from cows.
“Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord.” – Leviticus 19:28
Over the past 20 years or so, tattoos have gone from an outcast art form to a nealy mainstream hobby. It seems like almost everyone has a tattoo these days, which is big problem according to the bible! God himself forbid putting permanent marks on your skin, which makes tattoos of Jesus’ face hilariously ironic.
“Six days shall work be done: but the seventh day is the sabbath of rest, an holy convocation; ye shall do no work therein: it is the sabbath of the Lord in all your dwellings.” – Leviticus 23:3
God must love football, because most Premier league games and NFL games are played on Saturday and Sunday and he hasn’t smote any players yet. According to the Bible, the Sabbath is supposed to be a day of rest and prayer, but most people know it as game day. In addition, american footballs were originally made out of pigskin, which is also banned.
**Hmm, that means the final World cup match between Germany and Argentina last Sunday shouldnt have held according to the bible**
“And the pig, though it has a divided hoof, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you.” – Leviticus 11:7-8
Bacon is one of the tastiest things on the entire planet, but the Bible doesn’t want us to eat it — or any part of the pig for that matter. The pig is just one of many “unclean” animals that were forbidden to eat, but only for the strange reason that it eats normally. “Clean” animals like the cow regurgitate their food and eat it again.